I had some quiet moments to respond to a question posed regarding loss of salvation. What follows is my response for you to consider. There is much to this post and my heart is to answer in a way that is true to scripture, sensitive to the situation, while making sure that we are not swayed by the culture of anything goes.
1. Romans 3:23 does indeed say that we have all fallen short of the glory of God and Romans 6:23 tells us that the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life. So what we see here is that we are all sinners and there are consequences to our sin. Praise the Lord for Romans 5:8 that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us! It is through our belief in Christ’s death, burial, and resurrection (as the Son of God) that we are able to secure eternal life. Romans 10:9 confirms that for us.
2. Once a person accepts Jesus Christ’s freely given gift then by faith he or she is sealed with the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:13). 1 John 2:3 adds that “this is how we are sure that we have come to know Him: by keeping His commands.” So what we learn from this passage and others that we demonstrate our relationship with Jesus by choosing to live according to His commands, which are provided in the scriptures.
3. Having thoughts about “liking other girls” does not cause someone to lose their salvation. It would be comparable to someone having thoughts of “I want to have sex before marriage.” Both sets of thoughts according to scripture are sexually immoral and both if dwelt on and/or acting upon leads to sin. All sin creates the need for repentance and a commitment to pursue the way of Christ and His Word and not the way of the world. See 1 Corinthians 7:2 indicating that sex is to be between man and woman—husband and wife. Anything outside of that is sexually immoral. (See also Romans 1:26-27 and 1 Corinthians 6:9)
4. So now for the real answer to your question. Your daughter’s friend who is having thoughts about liking other girls, if she claims to be a Christian, would have to “deny herself, take up her cross and follow Christ.” (Matthew 16:24) That means that she would reject acting on any thoughts contrary to the Word of God so that she can continue to provide a “Christ-like” example for all those that know her. Wherever we each struggle with sin in our lives due to our sinful fallen nature is where we must “deny ourself.” We each must “take up our own cross,” place those sinful thoughts in this case on the cross and we fight. We fight for right thoughts, we fight for right behavior, and we fight through the empowerment of the Holy Spirit and we fight from the victory that Christ secured on our behalf!!! We look to Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith who carried the cross all the way to Calvary and bore our sins on His body! (Hebrews 12:2-4). Oh what a Savior!!!.
5. Now as a general admonition: Someone that claims to be a Christian and yet persists in sin long term even with other Christians presenting the truth of scripture I would question do they have the relationship with Jesus that he or she believes they have. Yes we all sin, yes we are imperfect, yes we will make mistakes, and yes Praise Jesus that is why He came to die on that cross—To be the perfect atonement for our messy lives. But unfortunately many want to believe that I can do my own thing regardless of scripture and God will give me a pass. That does not line up with scripture. I would challenge anyone that continually and willfully commits sin to show me scripture that supports their behavior.
6. As a Christ follower I have learned to never assume that someone is a Christian. It is good to ask some diagnostic questions that helps the individual to think through what they believe about God and His Word. I have counseled many people that told me, “I’m a Christian” but could not tell me on what basis they believed that. I am praying for you to have an opportunity to have a conversation with your daughter’s friend to ask her some basic questions. One of my favorites is, “If you were to die today how sure are you that you would be with God in heaven?” “On a scale of 0 to 100, what is the percentage of your assurance?” Based on their answers you can go from there but that at least gets your started.
I realize that what I have typed is not easy but I have done my best to follow the Lord’s leading in my response. Feel free to let me know if you have other questions.